Fever
by LittleBlackRaven
Summary: With Izaya bed ridden for the last week, the city of Ikebukuro has been quiet. With suspicions high, Shizuo decides to see what the damn flea is up to, only to be put in a situation he may not be ready for.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: Ok this is my first ff...ever so yea im sorry if it sucks and that they may be OOC D: **

**WARNING! YAOI GUYXGUY ****YOU BEEN WARNED!**

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><p><span>Izaya's POV<span>

There was a light pitter-patter on the window of my apartment. It had been like this all day, dark, cloudy and promising rain, which finally came as I lay in my warm bed.

"Fuck this sucks! I hate being bed ridden with this god damn fever!" yes me; Orihara Izaya is able to get sick. Sounds funny huh? Well it is, but I'm still human so yea I can get sick, deal with it! But for god sacks! I've had this damn thing for the last week or so! I can't do anything except lay here rotting away as the clock ticks by.

I toss and turn, trying to get comfortable, which eventually fails. Giving up, I throw myself out of bed and head for the kitchen. Staring for five minutes at the contents of my fridge, I realize that I'm actually not hungry, but bored. '_Hmm…..lets see how my wonderful humans are doing since I've been gone'_…..'_Of course, no one is on when I'm in this state. Fine I see how you are.' _ Unsatisfied, I close my laptop and stare off into space contemplating.

With a heavy sigh, I leave my favorite swivel chair and head for a relaxing hot shower to loosen up these tense muscles.

Shizuo's POV

'_Fuck! Just fucking great! I knew it was going to rain today but why the hell did I not bring a damn umbrella!' _I curse at myself for my forgetfulness…which seems to happen a lot lately, not sure why though.

"Let's call it a day Shizuo. Were not going to get much done with this weather." My employer, Tom, says as we walk under a stores balcony for cover.

"Yeah," I sigh, pulling out a cigarette, lighting it and taking a deep inhale of its intoxicating taste, always sweet yet bitter, just the way I like it. "See ya tomorrow," I wave to him as I started walking home.

For some reason, I notice that damn flea hasn't been in Ikebukuro in a while, and for him, that's always bad. He's prolly up to no good, being him and all. It's been what two-three weeks since he showed his smug ass around here? Something's wrong. The flea wouldn't hide for this long unless something serious happened…..or he was scheming on destroying the city again with chaos!

"Fuckin louse!" I yell, getting a few odd stares by passer-byers. "Now I have to go to his fuckin apartment, beat the shit out of him and destroy the damn place!"

Clenching my fist and grinding my teeth in rage, I stomp over to the pleas place.

Izaya POV

Damn! A nice cool shower feels like heaven with this ragging fever. Lathering my hair with brand name shampoos, I can feel my muscles loosen, as I inhale the sweet scent coming from my hair. Only if I could stay like this forever…but if I did I would eventually run out of the warm water and causing me to get even sicker. The thought of that made me frown, putting damper on my already not-so-good day. With another heavy sigh (oh and did you ever hear the saying that every time you sigh, a part of your soul dies? Ha!) I turn off the showers water and grab a clean fluffy towel.

A thunderous knock pounds on my door, startling me to death. But what's worse is that I managed to slip on the wet tile, smashing the back of my head on the tubs ledge. The last thing I remember was hearing something crash to the floor in y living room before I'm incased in a black envelope.

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><p>The icy wind bit at my nose on this cold December day. Walking home from school, my mind flooded with events that happened today, as Shizu-chan walks next to me. Nothing extraordinary happened in the early day time, Shinra just babbled about his love for the headless woman-Celty- living with him. As usual Dotachin, Shizu-chan and I just tuned him out as we ate out bento boxes. It as odd and…..rare to see that Shizu-chan wasn't threatening, throwing or trying to smash my face in today. But it kind of feels…nice, it's relaxing to have it peaceful for once.<p>

The day went on with a blur until the end of school. At my shoe locker, I found Shizu-chan sitting on the bench, twiddling his thumbs, and from here t seems like the blonde was in deep thought.

Entering the locks combination, I decide to encourage his presence. "My Shizu-chan, don't hurt yourself too much from thinking," I tease.

"Shut up louse, I-I just wanna ask ya something."

For a brief second I freeze not sure where he's going with this. He's always to damn unpredictable I can't stand it! "Ask away," I say, slipping my shoes off and the other ones on.

"Well um….could you help me study for the up coming exams?" he questioned, obviously nervous by the way he's scratching the back of his neck.

Hmm….this may actually turn out good! I could tease the shit out of him about his protozoan sized brain! "Fine, I'll help you." Shooting up with surprise, he kind of in his own way, thanked me.

And this is where we are now, walking to my house to help Shizu-chan study for the test. Walking side by side next to this brute is awkward for the both of us. But at last I can see my humble abode. "Well here we are," I point out, breaking the silence.

"Does green tea sound alright?" ha! I can't believe I just asked that to the person I can't stand! Scratch that, he's a monster with that strength of his.

Arriving back into my living room, I find the brute burning holes into that poor text book. Hmm…odd but for some reason his face is slightly flushed, a light pink color dusting his face actually looks kind of cute.

Completely ignoring what just popped in my head, I set the teas down in the coffee table. "So what is it that Shizu-chan protozoan brain can't comprehend?" I snicker.

Once I again I can tell he's nervous, he shifts uncomfortably, the pink reddens on his face. I can't exactly pin point why, but I couldn't keep my eyes off his face. Now staring, I never truly notice how attractive Shizuo is, quite possibly handsome too. His face chiseled nicely, those soft mocha eyes flashing his emotion to the world and those lips. They are slightly full, but soft, warm and tempting. When he finally notices that I'm staring, all he could muster was a 'what' before I leaned up and crashed our lips together.

At first, he was shocked by my sudden impulse, but shortly after he started kissing back. First nipping and biting my lower lip, then licking, silently asking for permission to enter. Which I gladly accept.

That first innocent kiss quickly evolved into a steamy, hungry yet passionate kiss. Tongues dancing together, sometimes fighting for dominance in our moist caverns. The only time we parted was to get a lungful of precious oxygen. Moving more comfortably on Shizu-chan lap, straddling him; moans escape my throat as he sucks expertly on my tongue, continuously nibbling on my lower lip.

Soon butterfly kisses are placed on my jaw line, the hollow of my ear and down my neck. A gasp mixed with a moan escapes me as I feel teeth sink into my skin at the junction of my neck and shoulder. "Nng...Shi-Shizu-chan!" I moan wantonly, arms draping around is strong neck. He continues his assault, biting, sucking and licking the abused patch of skin, sending shivers down my spine and heat straight to my groin. "Hng! Shizu-chaan~" Another moan deceives me. The kissed return to my lips with bruising force as a hand travels up my shirt, greedily exploring what's underneath.

"Ah…Ahh! Shizu-chan!" a tweak of my nipple renders my body into a quivering, moaning and gasping mess under his touch as I claw at his back side. Easing the shirt over my head, Shizuo immediately attacks on of my nipples with his mouth. Sucking, biting and licking the red bud, as I moan under his ministrations. He moves onto the other one, doing the same, as he tweaks and pinches the already abused nipple.

Laying my down, he trails the pad of his tongue along my torso and navel. I hid my face underneath my arms as I blush beat red. The sound of metal clinking together, snaps my head up, unsure of what's happening, before anything is clear, my cock hits the cool air causing me to hiss. "Mng," I moan extravagantly as callous hands start to pump my need erection. He moves agonizingly slow to a much faster pace, the going slow again, driving me crazy as he teases the slit of my head.

"Fuckin te-ASE!" hitching my breath as my hands claw at his blonde hair as he fully engulfs me. Going up and coming back down, his tongue swirling around my hard mass. With my hands in his threaded through his hair, I force him to stay down, fully swallowing me. Unknowingly, hi had reaches don, groping my balls. Throwing my head back in pure bliss, moaning uncontrollably, having shivers of ecstasy wrack my body.

"Nnng…ah…Shi-Shizu-chan," I breathed, "I'm gonna c-come!" with that on sentence moaned out, all of his ministrations abruptly stop. Opening my eyes, I see him towering over me, as I lay on the rug. His hands on my shoulders, anger, yet fear flicker in his eyes. Without warning, he starts to vigorously shake me, calling out my name. "Izaya…damn flea…..up…wake up damn it!"

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><p>My eyes slowly start to blink open as my body is being shaken wake with force. I hear words, but I can't fully decipher what the hell they are as my head snaps forwards and back. "God damn it flea! WAKE UP!"<p>

This time my eyes snap open at that familiar voice. There he was, the fortissimo or Ikebukuro, Heiwajima Shizuo, shaking me in my own bathroom, with only a towel around my waist.

Upon seeing my eye open, he thankfully stops shaking the life out of me. "Izaya….are you alright?" why the fuck is he asking me this! "Yeah I'm alright after being shaken to death for who knows how long after hitting my head against the tub!" I snap back, obviously pissed at him for one shaking me, two for being in my house and three for even touching me! "S-sorry, but you look like shit," he retorts, removing his hands from my shoulders.

"Well what the hell do you expect? Ive been bed ridden for the last we with a goddamn fever!" I shout with venom, flailing my arms in the air.

"It's just that you're bleeding from the back of the head and well…"He pauses, face flushing in color and turning his head away.

Frustrated with him for not finishing the damn sentence I hiss through my teeth, "well what Shi-zu-chan?"

Taking a deep breath, turning back to face me, but not looking in my eyes (which pisses me off even more) he continues "well…um…..your hard." It took me a few seconds to realize what the hell he just said as my eyes drifted to my lower region…._FUCK! How the fuck did this happen!...oh wait, it must have been from that damn dream! How could I not remember that until now! And of all people to find me unconscious on my bathroom, bleeding with a full ragging hard on! Why did it have to be Shizuo!_

It felt like hours ticked by as the dead silence drowned on. I tried thinking of ways to get out of this mess, but my burning fever blocked all thoughts from my head. A sudden wave of nausea causing me to moan in pain as I place my forehead in my palm for support.

Upon hearing that, Shizuo's head snaps toward me. Removing my hand, he places his own on my forehead. At the gentle touch by the strongest man in Tokyo, possibly all of Japan, I almost nuzzle my head into his touch. But I am Orihara Izaya and there is no way in hell I'll ever succumb to doing such an act with the person I _loath_ or with anyone else.

"Fuck flea! Your burning up!" he growls, removing his hand, and standing up. There's a warm yet rough hand glides over my back as another one snakes its way under my legs. The next thing is that it feels like im flying…or floating, through the air. As I slowly open my eyes, which I didn't even notice I had closed, I know now that I'm being carried in the arms of my enemy, bridal style. I'm taken out of the bathroom, crossing my room to the king sized bed. Bending down, he pulls the sheets away; he proceeds by placing me gently, yes gently, down in bed. Placing my head on the pillows, he pulls the sheets back up, removing the dampened towel at the right moment, causing me to slightly blush. With the sheets up to me head I let a little sigh of comfort in my familiar bed.

He leaves silently, not knowing if he'll come back, I let out the last of my breath that I didn't even notice I was holding. Seconds later I hear a cupboard door being slammed shut from the kitchen. A minute later, Shizu-chan returns to my bed side with a glass of water. I gladly take it, placing the edge to my lips and quickly drinking it. _Hm…never noticed how thirsty I was._

"Now sleep," he demands, though it didn't sound that way, but I not, my mind and body already succumbing to sleep. The last thing I see with blurred eyes is Shizuo pulling a chair up to my bed as I drift away into sleep.

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><p>Yea sorry bout the whole POV switch. Thatll only happen in this chapter...i hope. But it help the story be less confusing of how and why Shizu-chan got to Izayas place. Also I'm currently looking for a beta, if you have any suggestions or volunteers I'd really appreciate it :D<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: OK just to make things clear, the whole part about the high school was a dream that Izaya had had. So without further a do!**

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><p>Rays of sunlight bleed through my curtains, lighting up my room slightly. Turning over on my back, stretching and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. For the past week or so it has become routine to check my temperature. 102. Hmm not surprised that I still have the virus. Walking back into my room, I stop dead in my tracks.<p>

There's an unoccupied chair next to my bed.

Quickly searching my flat, I finally find that damn brute, snoring peacefully on my leather couch, and droll running from the corner of his mouth. _'I really should let him sleep,'_ I say to myself. _'But I'm not because this is the person I hate the most, plus it's a perfect opportunity to piss him off.'_ I kneel down by his him, giggling like a high school girl; I stab Shizu-chan in all of the most sensitive places. These places aren't the good sensitive spots either, there actually quite painful with the right amount of force.

"Gah!" he shouts, shooting up, a hand over his chest where the last place I jabbed him.

"What the fuck flea! Why the fuck are you in my house!" he yells. _' Dumb ass, this is my house thank you very much.'_

"Oh poor poor Shizu-chan, oblivious as always," I say, clicking my tongue and shaking my head, receiving a growl. "But this is _my _house our in and _my_ couch your currently laying on." I say, face emotionless. Realization washing over him, he curiously looks around, scratching the back of his blonde hair, "my bad."

"Whatever," I let out conversation drop there, standing up, waving my hand in dismissal, I walk to the kitchen for breakfast.

The sweet sound of bacon and eggs sizzling only made me hungrier. Placing two slices of bread in the toaster, I turn around, a bit startled upon seeing Shizuo's leaning against the kitchens door frame, an eyebrow raised questioningly.

"What?" I ask, folding my arms up to my chest.

"Never knew fleas could cook," I scoff at him as he walks closer to me. Only inches away now, he raises his right hand, placing his palm on my forehead, causing my jaw to slightly drop. "Dumb ass! You have another fever!"

"Tch, I've had it for well over a week now," I spit back, walking over to turn off the burners and retrieving my breakfast.

"Shouldn't you know, go see a doctor or something?" he questions as I sit down at the table.

"Ne~ is Shizu-chan worried about me?" I giggle, taking a bit of eggs off my fork, watching him. I still don't understand why he's still here; he's not even trying to kill me by throwing the nearest heavy object at me. We stayed in silence for a few minutes, not one of us wanting to break it. Sighing with the situation, I take my dishes to the sink to ash. When I finished, I lean against the counter, squinting my red eyes at the beast. "Ne, Shizu-chan, what are you still doing here?" I question

All he did was grumble something incoherent and shrugged. I'm guessing that that he's not even sure why he's sticking around here.

Hearing a sigh escape the blonde's lips, I look up to se his body more relaxed. With closed eyes he mumbles, "You should prolly go get some rest." It weird how little that sentence made my heart flutter! Shizuo, the beast of Ikebukuro is caring for me? God it feels disgusting!

"Na," I wave him at him, pushing myself off the counter, only to have my legs give out. With the tiled floor racing or my face, I brace for impact with my arms in front of me. I find myself gasping for air that was suddenly stolen away from my lungs as my hands hi the floor.

"…..IZAYA!" was all I heard from the brute as he ran towards me. Heaving me over his back he tells me again that I should be laying down, covered with blankets, not cooking meals. I don't quite remember if I told him he sounded motherly as he took me to the living room. But I do most certainly remember that strawberry scent radiating from his golden locks, that sweet yet bitter cigarette smell and the warmth. I could have stayed like that forever! It as surprisingly comfortable and I kinda felt…protected.

Unfortunately it wasn't meant to be as I was lifted off his strong back and onto the couch. Sitting up right, he drapes the blanket I left there the other day, over me. With my eyes closed, feeling warm and snug, I feel the sofa sink as body weight was added on my right. A wave of drowsiness washes over me. With a sleepy yawn, I lean my head against Shizu-chan shoulder, falling asleep.

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><p>It's cold, dark and damp. I try to move, only to realize that my hands and feet are bound to the chair I'm sitting in. I hear snickering mixed with metal scraping against the concrete floor and several foot steps in the distance. Feeling wary of my surroundings, I try to blink away the darkness, but only to feel something rough covering my eyes. <em>'Greeaat, now I'm fuckin powerless.'<em> I think to myself.

The footsteps stopped in front of me. With the blinding material ripped away from my eyes, I see no one other than a man with great power like I, possibly even greater power then me.

"Ah Shiki-san, are you here to save me from the gre-"my sentence cut off with a stinging slap to the right side of my face.

"Shut it Orihara-san," he bits back while motioning several people with metal bats and crow bars to emerge from the darkness. "Do you know why you're in this situation?"

"Hmm…nope," I say with cheerfulness in my tone and a smile on my face, only to receive a punch in the stomach.

"You're here because you are useless to me now. I no longer need you or your information. You also know too much of my personal life…so that only means I can no longer have you breathing with suck knowledge." After hearing those words, the sound of metal cuts through the air only to be followed with a painful blow to my arms, shoulders, legs and stomach, including several punches to my face and gut. I felt blood running down the side of my face after a bat collides with my skull, a sickening crack that echoes the room.

With the ropes now cut loose, I'm forced to the floor, I can feel hands on my head and back, but there's another hand greedily trying to take off my pants. Realization is like a hard slap to the face and I begin to squirm and twist, trying anything to get myself free.

All of my moves are in vain as the man completely teats away my pants and boxers. The only thing I could fully register at this moment was the sound of zippers and something probing my back entrance.

There was pain, pain so unbearable death sounded heavenly. In and out, in and out, harder and faster then the last thrust. My stomach full of their vial seed that I'm forced to swallow or choke to death. My ass, cum and blood mixed together as the man's filthy cock mutilates and rip's my insides.

It hurts! Their dirty hands racking my body! It makes me sick! I try calling out for help from anyone but my cries are not heard as I'm forced to suck and swallow. There's another searing pain that shoots up to the back of my head with the clash of the bat , sounding like thunder rippling through the dark unforgiving sky, as my lights go out.

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><p>With my snapping open I leave that retched nightmare to the safety of my dark living room….but something's feels odd. Normally my couch isn't this hard….or warm. Slightly lifting my head, I'm struck with horror and….something I'm not too sure of.<p>

Me, Orihara Izaya, is laying on top of Shizu-chan, arms hugging his neck, my head comfortably lying in the crock of his neck. And what makes it worse is that his hands are wrapped around my hips! Ok wait no, now it's even worse! He just muzzled me with his head holding onto me tighter!

That wave of protection washes over my senses yet again. And I can't help but smile. Another clash of thunder rolls through the darkened sky, causing me to slightly jump from the unexpected storm brewing outside Shinjuku.

A grumble and stir come from the blonde as he starts to wake. As he rubs his sleepy eyes, for reasons I still do not know, I pretend to sleep, not wanting the blonde to see me awake.

I can feel the muscles of his face contort into a soft smile, which has never happened in my presence of this man. I couldn't help but let the corners of my mouth twitch up with the small victory of knowing that I actually made a mad man smile. On the verge of falling back asleep, I suddenly feel fingers rake through my dark locks. At first I was surprise by such an action, especially from Shizuo but it felt kinda nice. Ok now I'm just lying to myself, it was soothing, comforting and it felt like those wondrous fingers scrubbed my discomfort form my nightmare away.

Unconsciously, I snuggle my head into Shizu-chan's neck, bringing my body closer to him and his head. Unknowingly whispering, "Mmm…Shizu-chan." Falling into a deep sleep in Shizuo's arms as he holds me tightly around the waste.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: I'll update whenever i get the chance because all of my chapter, up to three, are written on paper so yea. <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Authers Note: Yeah i got caught up in some stuff so it took me a little longer, but anyways here you all go!**

**haha ok yea i kinda forgot to re-read it for errors...so now thats its all fixed up and a little better here!**

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><p>As the sun started rise, so did my body. Full of rest from basically sleeping the whole day. But I didn't want to get up; I'm comfortable, warm and wrapped in the brutes strong arms, protected.<p>

This felt nice. Not only waking up in someone's arms, but Shizu-chan's strong ones of all people! I've been lying to everyone that I hated this man underneath me. Truth is, I've always had an infatuation for him. When I first saw him, fighting off tens of high schoolers, street sign in hand, his white shirt slightly open, revealing lean yet toned caramel skin; I wanted him. Every time I see him, now and back then, so many years ago, something inside me lights up. My heart starts to race, my palms become clammy and sometimes I surprise my own self that my words toward him never falter when seeing him out in the city before one of our malevolent brawls. I want to be to the only he holds, the only one to be close with him. I wanted and still want to be the only person that invades his every thought, in his waking hour and even his hours of him peacefully sleeping.

But when Shinra introduced me to him on that field, he turns around; the first thing that comes out of his mouth was _'I don't like you.'_ I was surprised. I hadn't even said a single word to him! How the hell can he not even like me when he doesn't even know me!

Sighing at the high school memory, I turn my head to see the digital clock on the stereo; 9:42 am. Giving myself a quick stretch, I carefully climb off the sleeping blonde, trying not to wake him.

Walking into the bathroom, I look at myself in the mirror. "Fuck! I look like shit!" My hair in disarray, my body stiff and light grey circles under my eyes. The second sigh of the day escapes my mouth. First things first, temperature. I was _almost_ afraid of looking at the digital numbers on the gauge that I might still have this damn virus. Third sigh and it's not even ten yet! 100 degrees. It's a small fever but it's still there. Hopefully tomorrow it'll be gone for good. I'll worry about that later, but for now, I really need to take a shower.

With the hot water pounding on my back, loosening my tight muscles as I lather my hair with shampoos, a relaxing scent invades the small room. I plan on staying in this smoldering heat until it runs completely cold. With my mind set, that's exactly what I do. Sitting down on the showers floor, I stay there as minutes tick by as my mind empties all thoughts. I love the blistering heat from the sun's rays, or the boiling water coming from my shower head. I love the relaxation you get when you bask in it, even in the warmth from a thermal blanket! But I hate the cold, it's not relaxing, you're stuck inside all damn day with nothing to do! It pisses me off! Plus with my thin frame I don't do very good staying warm in freezing temperatures.

With the water getting cold, I turn it off, grabbing a towel to dry myself off with and wrapping it around my waste. "Much better," I say, looking into the mirror and ruffling my damp hair. Reaching for the door knob, I stop hesitating upon hearing shuffling on the other side.

Next thing I know is that the door flying open, hitting me hard in the face, causing me to stumble backwards, my legs catching the edge of the tub, making me fall in with a thud.

"Izaya…oh," he calls out, opening the door, "sorry." He says fully walking in.

"God damn it Shizu-chan!" I was not only surprised by that damn brute slamming the door in my face, literally, but damn! That actually hurt! Especially tripping into the tub, my head colliding with the tiled wall! "Nng," I groan trying to get up, which is proving itself to be quite difficult.

"Here…,"he stretches a strong hand out to me for support. I was about to take it and trust me, I really wanted to, but Orihara Izaya doesn't need help. Slapping his hand away, I try to once again to get up. Only to fail miserably by slipping further in, my back completely on the floor, neck in a stressful position and my legs hanging over the ledge.

I hear laughter erupt from the protozoan brained man. Obviously he was trying to hold it back but failing quite so. "Fine go ahead and laugh," I tell him, huffing and folding my arms.

"Haha sorry but you look so helpless," he responds, grabbing my wrist to pull me up. "It's kinda cute," halfway through pulling me out those words escape his throat. Complete utter horror swims in his mocha colored eyes; he didn't mean to say what was already spoken. A blush creeps up from his neck, to his cheeks, all the way up to his ears. Me on the other hand….my jaw is gaped open, eyes wide and I could feel my cheeks flush a red color.

We stay like that for several minutes, clearing his throat, hosting me back on my feet. Letting go of my wrist, he slightly hangs his head; "I'll let you get ready…" he turns away, closing the door behind him. He leaves me here, blushing, dumb struck and speechless.

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><p>I made sure I took my sweet ass time getting ready. Though thirty minutes was <em>not<em> enough to cool my head. _'Was that what Shizu-chan really thought of me? Was that truly how he felt?'_ questions like these swam through my brain. I couldn't even analyze an answer! That brute was always so unpredictable! I never thought that he would stay here for three days, _helping _me, being wrapped protectively in _his_ arms while I slept and finally calling me _cute_!

Walking into the living room, I spot the blonde sitting back on the couch, head hanging slightly and twiddling his thumbs, obviously in deep thought. Sitting down on the other end of the couch, I pull my knees to my chest. Noticing my presence, he stops his thumb twiddling, releasing a sigh, then opening and closing his mouth repeatedly, trying to figure out what to say.

To see him fumble for the right words, only to fail is actually kinda…adorable, it makes him not look so monstrous. "Look," I say, hiding my face in my knees, pulling them closer, "about what you said earlier…its fine, really," it's not fine at all, I know it and he knows it. We're more than enemies, we absolutely loath each other, well its only one sided, but were neck and neck with each other. To call one another cute or adorable isn't ok in or relationship if you can even call it that. But I can't help what I feel for this man next to me, trust me, I've tried everything I could to not like this man because I knew in the end I would be hurt, I would be thrown away. I would be useless to him.

My heart is racing, bashing against my rib cage, threatening to break free, my mind is like ice cream, dripping off the cone on a hot summer's day. He doesn't say anything, and we sit there in the silence, the only sound is the bustling city below us.

A shiver rakes my body, reminding me to turn up the heat before it starts to get too cold out. The couch cushions start shifting, not sure with what's going on, I start to lift my head, only to be stopped when strong arms wrapped themselves around me. "Hey, don't cry," he tells me calmly.

"Orihara Izaya does not cry!" I burst out at him, glaring into the deep eyes.

"But…your face is all red," he points out, obviously not remembering the conversation we had.

"Oh Shizu-chan," I tell him, shaking my head. "I told you before; it's because of the fevers I keep getting."

"So you have another one right now then?" he questions.

"Yup," short and sweet.

"But…your freezing cold," he continues, puzzled.

"That's only because it's cold in _here_. I was shaking because of it, not sobbing." Another shiver runs violently through my body, causing me to curl up tighter, bringing my body closer to Shizu-chan's for warmth.

"Here," surprising me, he lifts me up to sit on his lap, my legs stretching out next to him as he pulls me closer against his body. My face blushing madly as one hand curls around my back and the other on the back of my head; bring it down to rest under his neck. It's weird how relaxed I am with this situation, and how relaxed he is with me being near him, much less sitting on top of his lap, my head resting on his chest with his hand on my back and another combing through my hair.

As we sat here like this for several minutes, both of our minds drifting in different directions. My mind still can't comprehend why he's doing this, not attacking me. It's puzzling.

"Hey…you ok?" He questions, breaking the silence, pushing me back by the shoulders in order to see my face. I didn't want him to though, not when I felt so vulnerable. Obviously angry with my action, he growls, grabbing my chin with his hand, forcing me to look at him.

At first I see anger in those eyes of his, but as soon as he lays his eyes on me, all traces of that bubbling anger withdrawals from them. "….Izaya?" He silently questions. I look up into those eyes of his, wishing I hadn't. I couldn't look away; they were just so memorizing the way his emotions swirled in those pools of soft chocolate eyes. Everything around me blurs, even the touch of his thumb stroking my cheek.

But what he did next…will change everything.

Shizuo leans in slowly, titling his head slightly, and placing soft, warm, velvet lips gently on my own. My eyes go wide, my heart racing out of my chest threatening to burst. I'm in complete utter shock, my body and mind can't comprehend on what to do. But before I could do anything, he pulls away.

My hands are clinging onto his sleeves, desperately. My mind is gone, I have no control over my body, and my arms start to move without my control. I'm trembling, I'm not sure why, but I am.

"Izaya…I'm sorry…I-I didn't mean to…" I'm actually hurt by those words. _'He didn't mean it, that small kiss…it wasn't anything to him…'_ I can feel him starting to move away, taking me off of his lap. My grip tightens its hold on his white bartender's shirt.

"Don't," I tell him, "just…don't?" I don't want him to be sorry, I don't want him to say he didn't mean to. I don't want the tears threatening to fall, to fall. But it's too late, the warm salty liquid runs down my face, dripping onto his shirt. I hate it. I shouldn't be crying over something so trivial! But I can't help it, I don't understand it! I know I like Shizu-chan, more than just an enemy, more then a friend. And to be in his arms like this, receiving a soft, gentle kiss from the beast… can't describe how that made me feel. But to hear that he didn't mean to, it hurt.

"I-Izaya…are you crying?" he says softly, taking my face in both of his hands. He stares into my red eyes, wordlessly saying he's sorry, that he didn't mean to make me cry. As the tears run down my cheeks, he wipes them gently away, placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

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><p><strong>AN: ok i just got a new laptop, its a netbook...the problem is...it didnt come with the full microsoft word...only the trial so yea im kinda stuck with that for now until i get a cracked version :...or youtube the security code off of youtube which im too lazy to do at this moment...*derp :B***


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: the fact that I'm writing this when I have a lot of stuff to do like pack for vacation and fix up my Celty cosplay and go wig hunting for Shizuo's cosplay…..well yea…I've kept you guys waiting for too long.**

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><p>I feel soft lips press themselves on my forehead. Confused I look up at the brute, a gentle smile on his face as he wipes more tears streaming down my cheeks with his callous thumbs. To actually see him smiling at <em>me<em>…well it has never happened before. This whole situation has never happened before! And I can't say that I don't like, which I very much do, well except for the part about crying and constantly falling into the tub.

We don't really say anything else as we sit on the couch in silence. It's a nice silence too, not that awkward one were someone _has_ to break it. This one is relaxing, calming.

_Bzzz….Bzzz…Bzzz_

Hearing or much more like feeling Shizu-chan's phone go off had startled me. As he reached into his pocket, he cusses at himself before picking up. "Shit I'm sorry Tom; I'll be there in a few." He closes the phone, releasing a sigh, hands combing through his blond hair. "I have to go," he points out the obvious to me. I can't help the corners of my lips fall knowing that this may be the last time I'll see him like this, and the next time will be in the streets having one of our infamous brawls. He notices this, and a frown pulls onto that gorgeous face of his. "I have to go, I'm already late," he tells me as he stands up.

"Alright," is all I can say at this moment, not able to look at him.

"Um…if you want…I could come by after work and bring you something to eat?" he questioned nervously. For the umpteenth time since he's been at my place, he has surprised me. He actually wouldn't mind coming back and bringing me something to eat!

Not trusting my voice, all I could do is nod my head, accepting his offer. A light smile replaces his frown as he turned, heading for the door, "oh and get some rest, you still have a fever," he comments, closing the door behind him.

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><p>I'll do as he told me, but I have other things I need to do first. I check my email, which is unfortunately getting full from days of not checking it. As I skim through email after email nothing interesting catches my eye. A few emails here and there about some low life wanting information on a gang member, a few emails from the Dollars. And one from Shiki checking on me to see if I is still sick, which I reply that I still have fevers. With the computer not able to keep my attention, I decide to go get a snack and see if there's any good movies on or that I could buy off of demand. Before I forget, I remembered to leave the front door unlock, not sure when Shizuo will come back from work.<p>

Looking through the vast movie selection, I find a movie I am content with, I grab my blanket and snacks, then get comfy as the movie starts. Technically I am resting, just not in bed and with a movie to keep my attention.

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><p>I don't know where I'm at, but I know it's safe, comforting and relaxing. I can tell its warm, just not to too warm, there's a gentle breeze, and something combing through my hair. I know that I'm in a dream, but I don't want to wake up, but I can tell that I am.<p>

As I slowly regain consciousness, I feel warm with a blanket on top of me, but there's something else that makes me close my eyes as I lay here. I'm to relax, to comfortable that I don't even want to do anything but lay here in the warmth as someone's warm fingers comb gentle circles through my hair. Knowingly I acknowledge there gestures as I nuzzle into that hand, which momentarily stops.

"Izaya…?" I hear a deep voice whisper.

"Mmng," I mumble as a reply, snuggling deeper into the blanket.

"Izaya," the voice says again. "I brought you some food," the voice pushes on, but I have no intention of fully waking up. I hear it sigh, finally giving up and letting me fall back into the dream world, but those fingers don't stop there ministration, which I'm glad.

Several minutes go by and I can't fall asleep, I'm actually becoming agitated. Knowing that I will no longer drift off, I sigh and start to open my eyes. I turn my head up, only to see the blonde sitting on the floor with his head on his elbow resting on the couch, eyes gazing at my with a glint of softness and a sweet smile on his face. Which I couldn't help but return.

"Hey sleepy head," he says.

"Hey," I whisper back, stretching my muscles to wake them up. Rubbing my eyes I ask, "What time is it anyways?"

"Um...it's…7:53."

"Shit!" I shout, jumping up, startling the blonde, who looks at me confused.

"What?"

"I didn't mean to fall asleep and for such a long time," I say placing a palm to my forehead. It's still warm, either from the fever or from his addicting heat.

"Well….it's better to get plenty of rest then none at all." He comments back. "Plus I bet your hungry, I grabbed some sushi on the way over…if that's alright," he says the last part shyly.

"…Actually that sounds really good right now," it's true my stomach is telling me to feed it or I'll be sorry later. I stand up, giving myself another stretch, and then looking at the blonde. "What?" I noticed him staring at me.

"Um…nothing…" he scratches the back of his head, looking away as a light pink dust over his face. _'Hmm well since I haven't in quite awhile…'_

"Ne~ does Shizzy-chan have a crush on me~" I tease wrapping my arms around his neck, watching his face go redder.

"Stop it flea!" He practically growls at me, trying to push me off, which kinda hurt but I knew we didn't share the same feelings, so it was expected.

"Aaaw but Shizu-chaan~" I sing taking my hands off of him as I start to skip circles around him. "But it's fun to tease you~" I stop in front of him, placing a childish grin on my face. "Hehe~" I giggle.

He starts growling at me, "stop it." I could tell he was serious but I didn't care so I persisted, this timing getting closer to him. "Aaaw why wont Shizzy-chan let me have my fun~" I trace my finger over his toned chest, pressing me body up against his, feeling the warmth soak throw my clothes. He's like a ray of sun, constantly warm, bright and care free. He would truly be happy if I never had messed up his life. Framing him for a murder I knew he never could have committed, making him pay the city for our constant fights, knowing that he can't pay it back no matter how long or how hard he tried.

My finger stops its ministration at my realization, my eyes drop and my head lowers as my arms return to the side.

"Izaya…hey Izaya are you ok?"

I can't stand it! We wouldn't be like this if I never did the things I did to him for so many years!

He grabs my shoulders, slightly shaking me back into reality. But it doesn't work; I'm scanning through my memories of all the things that I've done to him. All of them causing him nothing but misery and pain. None caused him any good, not a single one! And I have feelings for him! Shouldn't I be showing that instead?

"I…I'm sorry…Shizuo…I'm so sorry" I tell him, trying to hold back sobs. This man has the power to break me down into tears when no one else ever has. I can't hold up my walls around him, it's just too much.

"Stop it, just stop it already!" He yells at me, pushing my shoulders back. "Just stop it Izaya…just…stop crying," he says in a low voice. He's guilty but he shouldn't be. It's my fucked up way of expression that's done this to me. I can't show or tell people correctly how I truly feel about them. It always came out wrong. It came out wrong with my family, my friends and I won't even dare try to tell it to Shizuo how I feel.

Hearing another sob come from me, he tells me to stop, which I wish I could do because I would have done it by now, but I can't. "I'm sorry Izaya," he tells me, pulling me into his chest, arms wrapping around my back and the other around my head. His head falls onto mine, resting it there as he tells me it'll be ok and there's no need to cry. Excepting his embrace, my arms wrap themselves around him, clinging onto the back of his bartender's uniform. The tears stop falling, but every now and then a sob will shake my body.

Calming down by his warmth I can't help but to press myself into his body even more. Accidently causing him to wobble, losing his balance, we both fall.

A grunt escapes his lips as his back collides with the hard floor. "Ol, Izaya are you alright?" He asks as I lay here motionless. I respond by inching my way up to his neck, only to slightly nuzzle into it, a light smile on my lips, a true one at that. His hands find their way around my waist to pull me closer to him. Looking up at his face, I search his eyes desperately to read his emotions. I see guilt, and something else that I haven't seen before swirl in those irises of his.

Moving upwards to him, my forehead now rest on his, lips just centimeters apart. I can feel his warm breath ghost over my face, as I'm sure my breathe does the same.

We stare into each other's eyes, not able to break them away. I inhale for the last time, returning the gentle kiss he gave me earlier this morning. He gladly kisses me back, almost eagerly if I must say. And just like the dream I had a few days ago, the simple kiss turns into a more passionately one.

He nibbles lightly on my lower lip, causing me to gasp. He took this opportunity to slide his tongue inside my wet cavern. Greedily tasting me as our tongues fought for dominance, which he quickly won. He was sweet, just the right kind of sweet to. It was actually pretty damn addicting!

We break apart, having a trail of saliva connect our lips as we gasp for air. "Ne~ who knew Shizu-chan was an experienced kisser," I say placing my head back on his warm chest.

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><p><strong>AN: while typing and re-reading the part where Izaya is asleep, all snug and warm with Shizuo combing his fingers in his hair I so wanted to say fuck this shit! Slam the computer shut and snuggle into my own warm bed, falling asleep but I didn't. but I will soon its getting late. anyways… I hope you guys like it so far ;_; reviews are very loved and appreciated also they help with encouragement :D also going out of town tomorrow through Sunday, don't worry ill type some more but may not be able to write a full chapter :T<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Yeah...i had a hard ass time writing this chapter. oh writers block how i hate you so! But enjoy and also thanks for all the reviews they truly do go appreciated :D**

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><p>The night wasn't very eventful. We ate the food that he had brought in silence. Afterwards I went back to watching something on TV that couldn't contain my attention. Shizuo was right next to me, looking relaxed with the calmness of the day. <em>'Will things ever go back to the way they were?' <em>I questioned myself. I don't like this, the way Shizu-chan is treating me, the way he's calm in my presence…it's just not right. The balance of our 'normal' days has been thrown off course, spiraling into an unknown direction.

Looking at him in the dim light makes my heart skip a beat as the memory of the kiss returns. The passion in that kiss must mean that there's something more than just hate between us….right? The burning sensation stirs awake on my lips, causing me to touch them, wishing something else would.

I silently inch my way closer to him, unnoticeably. I can barely feel his warmth radiating from him, but I dare not move closer.

A yawn escapes my mouth as I sit here silently next to the brute. Noticing this, he turns to look at me. "You tired flea?" he asked. I nod, silently answering him. "Then go to bed," he tells me in a stern voice.

"Aww but Shizu-chan~," I wine, "I want to be tucked in~" I lightly tease as I stood up.

"…..fine, whatever." He gruffs, standing up. I whip my head to him, shock written all over my face.

"W-what did you just say?" Yea I can stutter so shut up!

"I said I'll tuck you in damn it," he lightly growls. I still can't believe that he's willing to do something so…degrading….in a way. Tucking in the person who he absolutely hates, into bed, as they sleep soundly. That just not right.

"And I thought you hated me," I pat his shoulder, shaking my head.

"…I never truly hated _you_ flea, just the bullshit you pull to make everyone's life a living hell." My hand stops in mid air, my eyes are wide, and my mouth is ajar. _No…no he didn't just…he possibly couldn't…it's not possible….he can't…Shizu-chan doesn't hate _me_ but the things that _I _do to him and other people._

My hand returns to my side, "I'm going to bed," I tell him as I briskly walk to my bedroom, not wanting to continue the conversation, knowing that it'll turn to a direction we're both not ready to take.

"Izaya wait!" I hear him call out, but I don't pay him attention. I close my door, plopping onto the mattress, burying my face into the fluffy pillow. I hear the door open slightly, "…Izaya?" he whispers, opening the door more, walking in and stopping by my side. I feel the bed sink in as he sits down. "What's up with the sudden mood swing flea?" I don't answer him, nuzzling into the pillow more to block him out. "Izaya," he growls at me. I turn and glare at him.

"What do you want Shizu-chan."

"What the hell is wrong with you! First you were all annoying and now…your just bein an ass!" He raises his voice at me.

Not taking it too kindly I sit up, shooting daggers at him with my eyes. "Well excuse me! Maybe I'm tired and would actually like some sleep you protozoan brained man!" I huffed, folding my arms.

He shakes his head, "no that's not it. It….it's because of what I said…isn't it?" he questions.

Again, my eyes go wide as I stare at the man sitting on my bed. I can't fathom up a response for him, all I do is stare into those mocha colored eyes.

The silence is hard to handle, there's so much tension in the air that it feels like I'm being choked. "I-I know it may not seem that way but it's true…" he tells me, sighing. I search through his eyes trying to see if it's a lie, but I find nothing, not even a little glimpse.

"It…it can't be. You're supposed to hate me!" I tell him.

"I know but…it just isn't how it is. And I'm not sure if that's how it's always been, it's kinda…"

"Confusing?" I finish his sentence.

"Yeah! Exactly!" He agrees. We sit there in the silence again, contemplating on what to say or do next. "Hey Izaya…"

"Yeah?" I turn towards him.

He grabbed at my chin, pulling me forward, ghosting his lips over mine. My eyes flutter close as his hands gently roam over my body, first a hand on my chest, roaming down lower and lower. Resting on my lower stomach, parting our lips, still centimeters apart. "See…there's no hate towards _you_," he pants out, resting his forehead on mine.

"I see," I pant back. "But…this isn't what…I had expected however…"

"However?"

"I would have never figured out that you never truly hated me, but this…this is something that I could have never fathomed about!" I whisper. "And I…and I….huh….believe it or not…I actually don't know how to say this…"

"Say what?" The blonde asks curiously.

"…That….since the first day I met you, that I never did hate you, I just couldn't….there was something about you that fascinated me! And I know that sounds wrong in your perspective but…no one has ever been able to hold my attention for such a long time! It's exhilarating!" I exasperated. "There's just not a way to explain how I feel towards you…"…._Shit! I did NOT just say that!...did I?_

It was his turn to stare wide eyed and mouth parted as he widened the space between us. "You…you what?" He says puzzled. It's too hard to answer him in my own state of shock.

"Uh….I-I" I can't believe that I'm stuttering _again_! "Fuck this," I mutter to myself, swallowing my pride. Grabbing onto his collar, I pull him into a bruise crushing kiss. I nibble on his lower lip teasingly, sucking and licking. He parts his mouth, letting my tongue to once again explore his mouth, tasting that addicting flavor of his. We pull apart, gasping for breath. "I told you there was something about you that I…I just can't explain…Shizuo."

"I-I can tell," he gasps out, touching my face. "Your still warm," he informs me. "You should get some rest." He tells me for the second time today.

"Yeah I know," I am tired to, so sleep sounds quite nice. "Do you want to stay here for the night or do you want to sleep in your own bed?" I questioned softly.

"Um…I wouldn't mind staying here, but a blanket would be nice."

"Why would you need a blanket?"

"Because it gets chilly on the couch, why else?"

"Ppht! Hahaha!" Ok I had to laugh at him! I just invited him to stay the night at _my _house and he expects to sleep on the couch? Ha wow! "Oh Shizu-chan~ there's no need for that~" He stares at me still puzzled.

"Then what Izaya?"

"I just invited you to stay the night at _my_ place so…" Now that I have to say it, it's kinda hard to, especially towards the person you like. "You could stay in a warm bed with me, if you'd like."

"Sure I wouldn't mind," the blonde tells me, and I'm actually relieved.

"Alright then," I leave for the bathroom, brushing my teeth, washing my face the usual stuff.

Walking back into the room, only wearing red briefs and a long white shirt, covering up most of me, well not the legs and revealing my pale chest. My eyes fall onto Shizuo, his bow tie is gone, same as his belt and silly vest, his shirt has the first few buttons undone, revealing his collar bone and part of his chest. I can't help but stare, taking a mental picture of what's in front of me.

Walking to the bed, I can feel his eyes gazing at my form. Well that's what I kinda had in mind. "Oh Shizzy-chan what are you staring at~" I say to him, seeing a blush crawl on his face. "Oh Shizu-chan you perv!~ looking at me like that." Ha I'm just trolling! I want him to look at me like that! I do want him anyways…all of him at that.

"Shuttup flea! It's not my fault you dress like that!"

"What? This is what I normally sleep in," and that's a fact.

"W-whatever," ha-ha I know he likes it; it's all over his face! Plus I can feel him staring at my pale, creamy legs and bare chest.

Turning the lights off, we both crawl into bed, trying to stay far away from each other.

Almost fully asleep, my body wakes itself up, and I'm freezing! I try to pull the sheets up more only to feel them gone. Turning over, I see that damn brute hogging them all! "Shi-zu-chan~ I'm cooold~" I wine pushing him. Sadly he's already asleep. Sighing I have no other choice, its either freeze to death or…curl up next to Shizuo for warmth. Choosing the second choice, I scoot next to him, curling into his chest for that heat. Nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck, inhaling that bitter sweet scent.

"Izaya…?" he says, sleep heavy in his voice.

"Hmm?"

"…Nothing," he mumbles. As I fall back to sleep, I feel my body being pulled, I open my eyes, seeing Shizuo's arms wrapped around my waist and the other wrapped around my shoulders protectively. He mumbles out my name, placing a kiss on the top of my head, falling back to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: To tell you the truth...i absolutely hated the last chapter. i felt rushed when i wrote it and i just dont like how it came out. Izaya...he doesnt cry...at all. hes strong willed yet here he is crying more then once! ugh just thinking about it pisses me off! but i wont rewrite it. There are several changes to the way i'm most likely going to write. It'll switch POV's just because its a hell of a lot easier and the story flows better and its quite longer. So yea**

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><p><strong> Izaya Pov<strong>

I wake up around nine-ish, turning over to Shizu-chan, noticing that I am actually alone, _'he must have just left, his side is still wa-' my_ sentence is cut off as a cough hits me. I'm coughing and coughing to the point where I'm gasping for air. Clutching at my throat, I stumble to the kitchen, desperate to get liquid down my esophagus.

Stumbling down the stairs, nausea hits me, causing me to double over on the floor, coughing madly. Everything is too hot, sticky warm; my world is spinning as if I'm trapped on a marry-go-round that is going at a high speed. The cough is still persistent, never letting me take full breaths of air as things begin to blur. The sickness in my stomach makes me want to empty it though there's nothing in it. With one last hard cough, I collapse, wheezing as my lights go out.

**Shizuo Pov**

I take advantage of Izaya's shower as he sleeps. The hot water feels good and the soaps smell amazing, it…smells like….him. A blush creeps onto my face as the image of Izaya…in the shower….naked….lathering his thin pale body with soaps enters my mind. Shaking my head vigorously I turn the water to cold, trying to relax my body. About twenty minutes of that, I let out a heavy sigh, cursing to myself as I get out. I have no idea why in the hell that image came in my head, but it won't fucking get out!

Before walking out to work, I turn to see Izaya still sleeping peacefully. His face had this…calmness to it, peaceful, as he hugged onto a pillow, nuzzling and mumbling something into it. I sat down on the edge of his bed, staring at his face, a smile lightly pulling on my lips. Before I even noticed my hand reaches for his face, the back of my hand caressing his soft cheek. My fingers traveled to brush brunet locks out of his closed eyes, continuing upwards to comb through his soft hair. And indeed it was soft, silky in a way.

He started to stir awake, tossing over onto his back. My heart race picks up, my hand stops as I stand up, leaving to go met up with tom.

Why is it that these pain in the asses never seem to get it through there fuckin heads! It fuckin pisses me off! Always barrowing money and never paying it back, then we have to go out and finding their sorry asses! Huh today is going to be a long day and its only fuckin eleven.

As tom talks to the man, I couldn't help but remember Izaya sleeping, hugging that pillow and that…image of him. He's been in my mind a lot lately. First something wasn't right, he wasn't in 'bukuro for awhile, so that just pissed me off. But then….when he's sick like this, so helpless do to the fevers, he's so…weak looking, it doesn't fit him. He's a cockroach he shouldn't get sick like this. But because of the days I've spent with the flea, which I had never thought would happen in this strange city, but it did, he's been on my mind, all the times that I helped him, falling asleep in my arms…more than once, and finally that…kiss. It…was actually my first kiss. There was something more in that kiss that I can't muster. It felt…passionate, there were sparks and something else. The feeling of his lips return to mine as my fingers gently touch them.

"Shizuo?" I hear tom call out.

Looking up I see him walking away, a puzzled expression on his face. "Oh sorry," I tell him, noticing that I was spacing out.

"Something on your mind?" he questioned as I caught up with him.

Pausing for a moment, I finally answer, "yea, but….yea," I tell him, well more like failing. "It's just…confusing," hey I tried my best; I can't tell him something that I don't even know myself, so instead I take a cigarette out and light it, inhaling deeply.

"Oh," he knows that he won't get much of an answer. "Well that was our last guy for the day, thankfully he cooperated with us, so you can take the rest of the day off. I gotta go back and fill out some papers." We part, waving our hands off in dismissal.

I spend the next few hours walking aimlessly, my mind wondering off as my body walks on its own. The whole time I kept thinking of Izaya, _'how is he feeling? Does he still have a fever? Should I go and check on him? If so should I bring him something to eat?'_ shaking my head, I look around noticing that I'm outside of Izaya's apartment building. Sighing I walk in, going to his door.

I turn the handle. As soon as I do, a wave of uneasiness washes over me. _'The flea wouldn't leave his door unlocked specially in his state of health.'_ Walking in that uneasiness thickens. There's defiantly something wrong here.

Searching the kitchen, living room, bathroom, his bedroom, even his closet and pantry, the fleas not here. Turning around, heading for the door, a glimpse of tan-ish white fur catches my eye.

Izaya's jacket.

I know for a fact that Izaya loves that fur trimmed jacket and doesn't leave his house without it. Yet…hear it is…hanging on his coat rack. I look back at the door, now noticing a single pair of shoes sitting there. No one is in his apartment, I just checked.

'_I don't like this at all. Something isn't right. The flea…Izaya…where could he have possibly gone?'_ panicking I pull out my phone, searching through the contacts, finally finding the right one, I press dial.

"Mmm hello~?" That annoying voice says through the line.

"Shinra, where the hell is Izaya?" I half yell.

"Oh…so you didn't do this to him?" He questioned.

"Did what to him!" This time I was yelling. I'm getting pissed off and worried by the minute.

"Well…I got a call from Izaya's assistant, Namie. She called a few hours ago about Izaya lying unconscious on the floor. He was pale, sweating heavily and gasping for air…" he trailed off. I stand in his apartment, feet frozen to the floor.

"Where is he now Shinra?" I growled in a low voice.

"Uh…he's at the hospital right now…why?"

Before he could hear my answer, I slam my phone shut, nearly breaking it. I take one last glance in the room, trying to imagine Izaya lying unconscious, but it doesn't work. Anger boils in my blood, running out of his place, all the way to the hospital.

Go damn it! I hate fucking nurses! I growl as I walk down the hall. _'Fuckin assholes wouldn't give me his damn room number! Don't they know who the fuck I am! Violence comes in handy sometimes when it comes to getting things I need though I don't like to use it…'_ I trail off, reading the numbers of the rooms. _267…268…ah ha! _

_269_

_Orihara Izaya_

I read that little plack on the door, taking a deep breath, I open the door and walk in.

**Izaya's Pov**

I know I'm dreaming. How do I know? Because there is no way in hell this can be real. Besides the last thing I remember is passing out on the floor, gasping for air. But instead, here I am in this crazy world where everything is backwards yet not. I know I'm in Ikebukuro….but the people look different. I saw Kida...he wasn't wearing his usual get up and was with that dollars kid…his clothing choice is…odd. White and black striped suit with green shades, his hair was more ruffled than normal.

Walking down the street, white and pink catches my eye. Turning I see a black haired man walking in a white jacket with pink fur trim, matching buttons and matching headphones, arm linked to another mans. Tall and blonde, but he was wearing a white and blue kimono, calm expression on his face as the other one was happy, like a small child going to the toy store.

Taking another glance at them horror struck me. _T-that….is…that me and…Shizu-chan?'_ The one in pink looked exactly like me, just a different personality…same as Shizu-chan's. The other me is…_happy _and…_smiling. _Shizu-chan is calm, he's not trying to through something heavy at me.

They notice me staring, the 'me' whispers in Shizu-chan's ear, he turns to look at me, before walking in my direction.

The three of us stare at each other bewildered.

"Is…is this even possible?" I question mostly to myself.

"I'm not too sure, but you two look the same…" The one in blue commented. "What's your name?"

"Izaya Orihara and yours?"

"Tsugaru Kaikyo Fuyugeshiki and this is Psychedelic Dreams or just Tsugaru and Psyche," he points towards the smaller man.

"This has to be a dream…this isn't this can't be real," I say trying to put the pieces together.

"This isn't a dream Izaya," Psyche tells me. "I'm a part of you! Um….how to explain this…." He ponders for a moment. "Ah like…I'm the part of you that you shut away, your feelings that you don't want to feel. The memories you've tried to erase! I'm the part of you that you throw away or at least try." He grins happily.

"As the same is for me, but I'm calmer then the other is, with different flaws." Tsugaru tells me.

"I see," though it's still hard to comprehend. "But….why are you here in Ikebukuro?"

"What do you mean? We've been here since we were born," Tsugaru voices confused.

"I think it's you who's never been here before Izaya! I've never seen you around here." Psyches says, still smiling….its kinda creepy.

"I don't know what the hell happened but all I remember is I had a god damn terrible cough, it was hot, everything was spinning and I collapsed….wait…if I'm here, then where is my other self?" Ok know I'm confused and that rarely ever happens. Before the other two could say anything, all around my turns to a blinding white light.

**Shizuo Pov**

Walking into his room, I see him lying on the bed, an oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose. His eyes are closed; his breathing is even, chest rising up and down. _'He looks so…weak, helpless…'_ I don't like him like this. It's bad enough that I had to see him succumb to a fever. But this…this is worse! He's in the fuckin hospital!

I pull a chair next him, glaring at that calm face. I release a sigh, knowing that it'll get me nowhere. Instead I grab at his hand, holding it in my own. It's cold to the touch; it's thin and feels boney. I give it a gentle squeeze hoping for something but I have no idea what.

The beeping from the heart monitor started to pick up as Izaya's face scrunched up in displeasure. A few groans escaped his mouth, sweat droplets formed on his forehead before running down his face. His hand in mine started squeezing. I know he's in pain but there's nothing I can really do for him besides sit here with him, running the pad of my thumb over his smooth pale hand, whispering that it's ok.

Lately I could really care less if I haven't been acting 'normal' around him. I know he's hurt, well not physically from what I've noticed and have been told, but still he's sick and…and I…I just can't hurt him! I'm just not like that. If I even tried I'd just feel guilty in the end because it's not a fair fight. That's why I haven't done anything to him as of late. I've….I've actually been taking care of him! Ha we'd become the laughing stocks of 'bukuro if people ever found this out. And…I wouldn't care. I just simply don't care about what other people think of me, so what if I'm being nice to the flea.

With a sigh I return my gaze to Izaya. He isn't as distressed as he was just a minute ago, which is good.

"T-tsugaru…" His weak voice whispers as I stare at him with bewilderment.

"Izaya?" I ask in a low voice. No response.

"Shizu…chan," I hear him breath out in a sigh. I look at him, but he's still asleep. My heart is racing as I stare at his face. _'He…he just whispered my name…in his sleep…'_ yea that's pretty fucking hard to believe especially from Izaya of all people!

I don't know what to do. Should I leave him to rest or should I stay and be here when he wakes up so he's not alone. With the conflict racing through my head, my hands comb through my hair, ready to pull it out from all the stress. Again I sigh and just give up on the whole ordeal.

Hearing another groan come from the flea, I turn to see his eyes starting to blink open.

"Shi…Shizu-chan?" He questions.

"Yea Izaya," I say back.

"Why…why are you holding my hand?" Fuck! I completely forgot that I returned to his hand!

"Uh…" I can't say anything and I can most certainly feel a blush run across my face.

"Hehe~ Shizu-chan's cute when he's blushing," he giggles, which is only making the blush worsen.

"Shut up flea," there is no menacing growl in my voice and I can't help but return a soft smile at his wide grin. "H-how are you feeling?"

"My head slightly hurts…I'm thirsty…and it's fuckin cold in here!" He says as he rubs his arms for friction.

Getting up I turn to the sink, fetching him a cup of water, which he gladly gulps down. "Sorry can't do anything for your head," I tell him.

"Nah it's ok, it's only hurting a little…but could you get me some more blankets?"

"Yea give me a sec," I leave the room, looking around for a nurse or someone. After several minutes I finally come across one, "hey do you have any extra blankets?"

"Uh…sorry but currently all the extra blankets have been used up or are getting washed," she says shyly. I thank her and head back to Izaya.

Walking back into his room, I see him staring out the window into the blue sky as a light breeze blows in through the window, his oxygen mask lying on the machine. Upon hearing my entrance, he turns to me, smiles so wildly that he has to close his eyes.

"What are you so happy about?" I asked him a bit confused by his strange behavior.

"I just realized that you were the first person I saw after waking up," the last part he said sadly, hanging his head.

"If that's such a good thing then why do you look sad?"

"Because…no one's ever been there for me…like you have."

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><p><strong>P.S. I'm also searching for a beta :3<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors note: I'm so frickin terribly sorry that I've taken forever to write this damned chapter! I procrastinated for a few days, then life slapped me in the face, then I got double tapped by frickin school! Ugh now that school has started for me I have to actually work harder to pass frickin high school OTL anyways please review it truly helps and are appreciated like no other :D**

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><p><strong>Izaya Pov<strong>

"Because…no one's ever been there for me…like you have."….SHIT! Why did I just say that! Huh I can't change it and by the facial expression currently plastered on the brutes face, I can tell he wasn't expecting that.

He scratches the back of his head out of a nervous habit before he speaks up. "Uh…what?" He says with confusion mixed in his voice.

"Ne~ is Shizu-chan deaf?" I tease lighting, trying to lift the mood.

"Shut up flea!" He obviously and like always never see's what I was trying to do.

"No need to get snippy," I say happily sticking out my tongue. He groans at this, muttering under his breath.

"Any way…why are you in here if you only had a fever?" He questioned.

Hmm…I actually don't know why Namie had called for someone to come and take me here. I know I had a fever but it wasn't high enough to be hospitalized for, and I collapsed because….why did I collapse? Meeting eyes with Shizu-chan I tell him the truth. "I honestly don't know why."

"Hmp, yea right Izaya, you're obviously up to something. What is it this time, need some medication for the Yakuza?" He bits bitterly at me.

"Oh yes Shizu-o~ because I can easily steal medication when I'm in a hospital bed connected to an oxygen mask." I glare at him, now pissed because of his damn accusations. I'm thoroughly pissed now that it came from him.

"Whatever flea, I know you're up to something," he still continues.

"Who the hell do you think you are!" I snap back at him, slamming my palms on the bed. "You have no fuckin g right to accuse me of something I'm clearly not doing or ever going to do!" I hardly cuss and when I do, I absolutely hate it because I'm showing that whatever the person said or has done had gotten to me.

"Whatever," is all he says, turning his back towards me and started heading for the door. To see him like this now, I'm not happy at all. I'm annoyed, frustrated and pissed. But there's a pain in my chest as I watch him grabbed onto the doors handle.

"Wait Shizu-chan, you don't have to leave," I sigh placing my palm on my forehead. Not hearing the door click shut, I turn my head to see him standing next to me. Mixed emotions swirl around in those vivid eyes of his.

He sighs but takes the set he was just sitting in. "Long day? I questioned curiously.

"Very."

"You seem tense," his shoulders are rigid and there's a crease in his brow, cocking my head slightly, I get up from bed walking behind him. I place my hands on his shoulders, feeling him flinch at the sudden touch. "You need a massage! ~" I chime happily, starting to work with the strong muscle on his shoulders.

"Nng, stop that I don't want a damn massage and especially form you!" He tries to move from my grasp but I don't let him. I purposely push a pressure point, causing him to sit back done. "What the fuck flea! That hurt!"

"Well if you didn't move it wouldn't have accidently hit a sensitive spot."

"Bullshit," he calls out immediately.

"Fine fine, but at least let me give you a small massage." After a few minutes contemplating he finally answers.

"Fine."

"Yay~" I say gleefully. I start by loosening the muscles that connect his neck and shoulders, first lightly then with more pressure to really break down and loosen those muscles. After several minutes I finally feel him starting to relax.

"Heh never knew you could actually be good at this," he tells me rolling his loosened shoulder.

"Well what did you expect I am Orihara Izaya after all~" I say pridefully.

Raising an eyebrow he looks at me. "Shouldn't you be resting?"

"Yea but oh well, I feel perfectly fine."

"Get in bed Izaya," he tells me sternly.

"Mmm…no, I don't want to." I stick my tongue out childishly again. There's a deep growl in his throat that reminds me of an animal warning another.

"Get into bed louse," he commands again.

"You obviously don't understand, but I'm not going to get into bed." I say as I start to walk around the small room. Another growl is released from him as he takes a step towards me. I dance out of his reach at the last minute, giggling to myself at the playful mood I was in. However it didn't last very long as a hand wrapped around my upper arm, swinging me on my back as my head hit the beds pillow. Opening my eyes I see Shizu-chan towering over me, hands pinning down my arms. "Aaw now the game is over," I pouted.

"It wasn't a game," the corners of his mouth are pulled up so I know he knew it was a little game. A harmless game of cat and mouse.

Lifting my head up I breath into his ear, "then why are you smiling?" Licking his ear as I lay my head back down I see a red glow in his cheeks. "Stop that." He tells me, but there's no threat, no demand, no growl.

"Aw~ but I like seeing Shizu-chan blush~" Again I lift my head, this time licking his jaw line. I feel a shiver course through his body at my action. "You taste like…strawberries and…cigarettes." It's not bad at all, sweet yet bitter, it fits him perfectly and the taste is kind of addicting.

"I told you to stop that." This time there's more of a demand from him.

"But Shi-zu-chaaan~" I whine.

"Enough Izaya."

"Hmp," I'm not going to give up, I want to taste that addicting flavor of his. There's just something about it…

Lifting my head one last time, I'm only a few centimeters away from Shizu-chans face. My eyes bore into his honey colored irises as I feel his warm breath dance over my face. Subconsciously I move closer, my lips ghosting over his. I don't want to close the space between us; I want him to decide this time. Right now I can't tell if he will, it feels like he wants to but he's being hesitant. He's moving slightly forward, trying to get a better angle. I feel a sigh he just released before his lips finally connect with mine.

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><p><strong>An: I'm sorry it's so short, it was originally planned to be shorter because its late, I'm tired and it's a schools night. Also…..I have absolutely no idea where this story is going orz. Also sorry bout the whole bi-polar shizu-chan and crappy grammer.<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Authors note: Holy fawk! I am soo terribly sorry that I've kept all of you marvelous people waiting. I had such a bad hiatus and I did have this chapter written and all but I did not like anything about it and of worse things to happen… my shizaya fandom started to fade even more but now it's back and better than ever!~ so now let's get on with the story. Also chapter might become shorter its easier to right and i can upload them faster :3**

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><p><strong>Shizuo's Pov<strong>

His lips ghost over mine, not quite making that final connection that they needed to. What made it worse was that he kept it like that, not pushing forward and not pulling back. With deep frustration I let out a sigh knowing he's not going to go any further into the kiss, so I push forward instead, having our lips meld to one another's again. Still thinking back, it's kinda odd how we were at each other's neck, thirsty for one another's blood, and now here we are, kissing.

My hands let go of his wrist, only to comb through his hair with my fingers, pulling him closer to me. I hear a slight moan from the back of his throat when I pull at his hair. Doing it again, his chest thrusts up into mine as a whimper escapes his plump lips. As our tongues battle for dominance the more our bodies craved for the others touch.

As we ravished the inside our mouths and soon our bodies, we never heard the click of the door opening. It was only when we heard someone clear their throat that broke us away. Looking over I could see that damn bespectacled doctor standing by the door, holding a clipboard, adjusting his glasses. "Sorry to interrupt…but I need to talk to Izaya, privately." The doctor said.

I got off of Izaya and walked out of the room feeling awkward that the two most infamous people of Ikebukuro were making out and not trying to ripe out ones throat.

**Izaya's Pov**

Doing _that_ with Shizu-chan…I have to say was quite fun!~ And my! What a skilled kisser he is! But of course Shinra just had ruin it!

"…America."

"Wait, what? Say that again I only caught America." I asked him.

"To treat what you have, you're going to have to be transferred to a hospital in America." He repeated. I sat there, frozen in place. Me, _Orhiara Izaya_, has to leave _my_ humans behind to get treated!

I couldn't help but chuckle, which turned into laughter, and then hysterical laughter. "Shinra...haha, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard! Ahahaha!" I laughed out holding my sides.

"Izaya this is serious," he said in his professional doctor tone.

My laugher died after he said that. Glaring up at him I ask, "How _serious_ is serious?"

"With the high and constant fevers, it could damage your body and nervous system, and there has been a few cases of a person dying from this." He said as he flipped through a few pages on the clipboard.

"Oh," it was hard to swallow. The idea of me being damaged like that and even dead. I can't leave my precious humans behind! There was soo much more I wanted to do to them! Not to mention that I still need to wake up Celty's head and have her take me to Valhalla! I sigh, turning my attention back to my doctor. "When am I being transferred?"

More papers shuffle, "the other doctors and I haven't fully decided on the actual date but sometime within the next week." I curse under my breath, only a week or so left huh? Well this just fuckin sucks!

"Since I have to stay here I'm guessing with until then, you should go get my laptop and cell phone so I won't be bored~" I chime out. He sighs and says alright, then he makes his leave.

I sigh at the white wash room, its quiet except for the hum of the machines and the constant beep from the heart monitor. I lay my head back down on the pillow, feeling exhausted though it's still a bit early in the I gaze out the opened window, I see the sun starting to set over Ikebukuro, making the city glow in a pinkish orange color, reflecting off the windows of the tall buildings. A light breeze made the curtains sway in the room. It's a calming sight and feeling, especially after what I was just told.

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><p><strong>Bakakaoru- i thank you soo soo much for helping my story with the direction it will be going in! XD<strong>

**P.S. Sorry for crap ass grammar is late**


	9. Chapter 9

**Authors Note: It's here and yes its much longer but I think this chapter is one of my most shittiest written ones yet .-.**

**Once again sorry for errors specially on grammar, my beta got in trouble and i just couldnt wait to post this **

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><p><strong>Shizuo's Pov<strong>

I hear the door click open, turning my head I see Shinra walk out.

"What did you tell him?" I question quickly, nervous of what he is going to say.

"You're going to have to ask him, I don't have the authority to tell you," he says professionally, adjusting his glasses to have them rest on the bridge of his nose. He nods, dismissing himself and walks down the hall, leaving me in front of Izaya's room.

I let out a heavy breath and I walk back into his room.

"Oh~? Well Shizu-chan! I didn't expect to see you...for a while."

"Shuttup flea," I glare at his face as I sit down in the chair, having another heavy breath escape my lips as I close my eyes. "So what's wrong with you flea? And don't give me that bullshit 'I don't know' you just had Shinra in here."

He doesn't speak right away; it was more like a few minutes until he spoke. "I have to get treatment...so I'll be in a hospital for a while."

"Wait...it's that serious!" I shout out not even thinking. He chuckles and says 'yeah'. There's something about this situation that doesn't feel right. "You're not telling me everything."

He whips his head towards me and glares. "I told you I'll be hospitalized for a while! That's all you need to know!"

"Geez, you don't have to yell at me!"

His head falls back on the soft pillows as a sigh escapes him. "I'm just...stressed out by this. It's more complex that if I tell you, your simple mind wouldn't be able to handle it!" He chuckles at the last part, but his face tells me that the chuckle was forced as there was a frown on his face. "You should leave Shizu-chan."

"Why?"

"Hmm? Does Shizu-chan want to stay with me when I'm sick and weak?"

I grumble at the pet name I've had for so long. "And what if I want to stay by your side Izaya?"

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><p><strong>Izaya's Pov<strong>

I honestly lost count of how many times this man has surprised me by his words. But it saddens me knowing that within a few days I'll have to leave the blonde behind in this beautiful city. In order to get through this, I need to push him away. I need to have him hate me again. To have him call out my name in a battle cry before he hurdles the heaviest object at my head. But...it'll hurt, I've gotten this far and I have to crush it, destroy it, and obliterate everything I've wanted towards this man for so long! I sigh, "don't say such silly things. You can't possibly mean that!~ If you stay close to me for too long, I'll just end up crushing you. So leave and don't come back," I say in a stern voice and points at the door. I look at his face, but not in the eyes. I see him tense up, but he stands and heads for the door, slamming it shut.

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><p>I was correct, a little more than a day later I am prepped for the long flight to America. Doctors will accompany me on my way, making sure I'll be ok while up in the air. I pick up several of my belongings, cell phone, laptop, etc. and gets ready to leave this place.<p>

Before they wheeled me away, I write on a piece of paper, folded it so it could stand up on the bed.

As I am pushed through the door, I take one last glance at that paper.

'Good-bye Shizu-chan  
>~Izaya'<p>

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><p><strong>Shizuo's Pov<strong>

After hearing what Izaya had said in his room and spending the last day and a half thinking about it, I ended up not caring if he hurt me. I mean I can handle it...right?

I fist my hair at over thinking this. What the hell am I even _thinking_! How the hell can I even _like_ Izaya and not even mind _dating _him! I swear there is something mentally wrong with me. I...I need a smoke...and a talk with Celty would help.

About ten or so minutes later I hear the eerie cry from her bike as she pulls around the corner.

[What did you need to talk about?]

I take a drag from the cancer stick and exhale. "It's Izaya again."

[What did he do this time?]

"It's not so much of what he _did _but what he _said_." I take another inhale and continue. "You already know that apparently he likes me and shit. But the other day when he was hospitalized...we kinda...made out again." A light blush ghost across my face, saying what we did out loud is much different than saying it in your head. "But Shinra came in and talked to Izaya. When I walked back in...he basically told me to never see him again." I lean my chest against the cool steal railing, looking into the sunburst yellow city.

[Any idea what Shinra could have said to him?]

"I tried asking him, but he kept giving me shit like 'I don't have the authority' and crap." I say the repeated words in a nazely voice.

[Go to Izaya and go talk to him. It could be something serious for all we know.]

I take one last drag of the cigarette and steps on it. "Yeah...your right and when the hell did I ever listen to the damn flea anyways! Thanks Celty." I pat her on her shoulder and I start to walk to the hospital.

On the way there, I thought of what to say and then played it out in my head as well as I could.

Before I knew it, I was already in front of his door. I swallowed hard, grabbing the handle, I open it.

The room was empty.

A sheet of paper caught my eye; it was folded in a certain way so that it could stand up. Picking it up, I read it.

It felt like my heart had dropped to the floor. _Did...did that mean that...Izaya is...dead?_

I put the paper in my pocket and storm out of the room. Spotting a nurse I ask if she knew where Dr. Kishitani was.

I storm down to the lobby, finding him drinking coffee out of that ridiculous mug of his.

"Shinra!" I roar at him, causing the man to jump. "Where the fuck is Izaya!"

"Sorry Shizuo but I to-" he was cut short as I push him against a vending machine. I glare down into his eyes, anger swirled in mine, fear in his.

"Tell. Me. Now. Shinra." I say through clenched teeth.

"He-he's probably already boarding the plane!"

"Plane?"

"He has to be treated...in America," he finally spits out.

My eyes go wide in shock and I step away from the man and I fall into a chair. "...For how long?"

"Um...several months...maybe," he shrugs.

My head hangs down. _He's...leaving, just like that? No snarky remarks...just...a note...saying good-bye_. My hands tangle themselves in my hair as I pull at it. "So he left just like that?"

"I thought he told you...especially after...well, _that_."

I shake my head, "no after you left, he told me to leave and I haven't seen him since." I sigh at this predicament. "Why didn't he tell me?" I question to myself.

"Here," I look up to see a cellphone in my face. "He'll answer it if it's my phone calling." When I call him, Shinra leaves, letting me talk in private.

After a few rings someone finally picks up. "What Shinra?"

I growl a bit into the phone, knowing that he'll hear it. "...Shizu-chan?"

"What the fuck Izaya! America! Why th- "Shizu-chan" fuck didn't you- "Shizu-chan!" tell me! I would hav- "Shizuo!"" I hear him shout and I stop talking.

A sigh comes from the other line and I could tell that he was pinching the bridge of his nose. "I didn't want to tell you ok? I knew exactly what was going to happen and truthfully I just didn't want to deal with it _or_you. I'm stressed as it is and you being near me...isn't going to help." I hear his voice crack a little as it seems like it's getting harder for him to talk. "I...I can't have you see me like this anymore, Shizu-chan...I just can't!" I can hear him choke on his own words now. "I-it's just too painful." He whispers out and I hear a few quiet sobs escape his lips. "I...I might not make it back to Japan," I hear him swallow hard,"...alive...If that happens...I just want you to know that...ever since we meet back in high school...I've always loved you."

Then the line goes silent.

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><p><strong>P.S. The part where Shizuo is yelling at Izaya through the phone and you randomly see Shizu-chan and what nots, thats just Izaya cutting in :)<strong>

**CrimsonRosePrincess –**Before I read all of your reviews, I was soo close to just say 'fuck this shit' and not even bother with it anymore. I had no motivation and I truly had no idea what the fuck I had even written anymore! But because of you…I got inspired and read what I wrote and started writing again! i cannot thank you enough! :D


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